Leroy and Missy

Leroy and missy were riding down the hi-way on Leroy’s Motorcycle, Leroy had long hair and it was blowing tickling Missy’s face.

Leroy was riding going fast about 80 mph, when missy said Leroy! Leroy couldn’t hear her.

He kept going faster, missy said Leroy! Leroy I am cold, Leroy just kept riding, Missy reaches up and just whops Leroy beside the head, and Leroy stops the Motorcycle, turns around and said what!
Missy says I am cold.

Now Leroy is a thinker so he says I know.
He takes her leather jacket off and turns the jacket around backwards, flips the collar up, looks at missy and says you won’t be cold no more.

Leroy gets back up to about 80 mph and all of a sudden he hits something and crashes.

Here comes the Police, walking up saying, what is going on here what happened to these folks, A little boy standing over by the way side says, mister Leroy was killed out right, but Missy was ok till we tried to turn her head around.

The Drunk and the Preacher

The Drunk and the Preacher
One day the good Reverend was driving down this back road, when he come up behind a drunk, the preacher thinks well I will just ride back here for a bit then pass him, the drunk would go from one side of the road to the other.
The preacher thought, good lord, this person is drunk I had better go around him.

Well the preacher would take off and try to pass and the drunk would move over to the preachers side, the preacher would drop back, after a while the preacher gets very frustrated, He just floors the gas pedal, takes off and crashes.

The drunk comes wobbling up to the preachers car, looks around and says are you ok preacher? The preacher responded; yes thank goodness the Good lord was riding with me.
The drunk looks at the preacher and says, preacher you had better let him ride with me, you are gonna kill him

Kids Are Funny 1

One day a little boy ask his sister, in a gruff voice he ask, hey sister how come I talk this way?
His sister answers, and says I don’t know you have to ask Mom.

So the little boy goes to the garage where his mom is changing the oil (in this day and time I didn’t want to put mom in the kitchen)in the family car, with a gruff voice he ask, hey mom how come I talk this way? His mom said I don’t know son maybe you should ask your Dad.

Well the Young boy goes to the Kitchen (yeah washing dishes) lol. He says to his Dad, Dad do you know how come I talk this way? His Dad says I am sorry son but I don’t know.
Well! Now the young boy is very disappointed, he goes out the front door walking down the sidewalk; he comes across the milkman delivering milk to his house,
HE ASK IN A GRUFF VOICE, Mr. Milkman do you know why I talk this way.

The milkman says to the little boy in a gruff voice, shut up boy, you trying to get me in trouble. lol

Kids are funny

The kids and I went fishing with Barbara (sister) and Macky (Brother in Law) in the Gulf of Mexico. Macky and Barbara went one way and we went the opposite.
After about 5 hours of trout fishing Macky realized we had drifted out of sight of each other,
Macky called on the marine radio and asked for our location, Irene my daughter who was only about 7 years old answered the call.
Irene looked all around and only saw water. Not able to fine another boat or landmark she replied.
“We are directly under the Sun"
Now that is true and funny.
Donald

Old men still think

An elderly farmer man in Florida had owned a large Orange grove for years.
In the back of the grove was a large Pond, he built picnic tables,a grill,and horseshoe courts, a very nice area. The pond was shaped and fixed up for swimming.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some oranges.
As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing splashing of water.
As he came closer , he noticed a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the other end.
One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"
The old man grined and replied, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked." Holding the bucket up he said,
I just came to feed the alligator."
Moral: Old men can still think fast.


Impossible to Please
A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside." So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor. The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up. They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain." They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up. On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor. There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."