The Wisdom of A Cowboy

A young, well-educated man on a business trip gets on a plane to find
himself seated next to an older, weathered man in a western snap shirt,
faded jeans and a cowboy hat.

Thinking himself above the old cowboy, the young man decides to make sport
of him.

"You know," he says, "I've heard these flights go much more quickly if you
strike up a conversation with a fellow passenger. So, let's talk."

The cowboy looks at him wryly and says, "Well I s'pose that'd be all right.
What'd ya like to discuss?"

"Oh, I' don't know," says the young man with a hint of sarcasm,, "how about
nuclear proliferations?"



"Hmm," says the cowboy, sensing the young man's attempt to belittle him,
"that could be an interesting topic. But, let me ask you a question first
-- horses, cows, and deer all eat the same stuff --- grass. Yet, a deer
passes little pellets, a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse makes
muffins of dried poop. Why do you suppose that is?"

Dumbfounded, the young man replies, "I haven't the slightest idea."

"So tell me then," says the cowboy with a smile, "how is it that you feel
qualified to discuss nukes when you don't know shit?"

You know, although humorous, this sort of sums up a lot in the world.

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And God Said

God Said, "Adam, I want you to do something for me."

Adam said, "Gladly, Lord, what do you want me to do?"

God said, "Go down into that valley."

Adam said, "What's a valley?"

God explained it to him.


Then God said, "Cross the river."

Adam said, "What's a river?"

God explained that to him, and then said, "Go over to the hill......."

Adam said, "What is a hill?"

So, God explained to Adam what a hill was.

He told Adam, "On the other side of the hill you will find a cave"

Adam said, "What's a cave?"

After God explained, he said, "In the cave you will find a Woman."

Adam said, "What's a woman? "

So God explained that to him, too.

Then, God said, "I want you to reproduce."

Adam said, "How do I do that?"

God first said (under his breath), "Geez....."

And then, just like everything else, God explained that to Adam,as well.

So, Adam goes down into the valley, across the river and over the hill,into the cave,and finds the woman.

Then, in about five minutes, he was back.

God, his patience wearing thin, said angrily, "What is it now?"

And Adam said



*



*



*


"What's a headache?"

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Two men from Texas were driving through Wyoming when they got

Two men from Texas were driving through Wyoming when they got
pulled over by a State Trooper.

The cop walked up and tapped on the window with his nightstick.
The driver rolled down the window and "WHACK," the cop smacks
him in the head with his nightstick

"What the hell was that for," the driver asked?

"You're in Wyoming , son," the trooper answered. "When we pull
you over in Wyoming , you better have your license ready by the time we
get to your car."
"I'm sorry, officer!" the driver said, "I'm from Texas and
didn't know your laws here."
The trooper runs a check on the guy's license--he's clean and
gives the guy his license back.
The trooper then walks around to the passenger side and taps on
the window.

The passenger rolls down the window and "WHACK," the trooper
smacks him on the head with the nightstick.

"What'd you do that for," the passenger demands?"
Just making your wish come true," replied the trooper.
"Making WHAT wish come true," the passenger asked?

"Because I know all about you Texas people," the trooper says.
"Two miles down the road you're gonna turn to your buddy here and say,
'I wish that asshole would've tried that shit with me!'
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